Do a friend a favor...

...click the ads so I can keep buying energy bars and online porn.

Thanks.

Going off the rails on a cocaine fueled gravy train!

So I guess I've been a bit more negative than usual lately. I think it's just the time of year and all the crazy shit going on in the world that has kinda made it so. I don't feel that apologetic about it but enough to define it with some reason.

Naturally I tend to kinda hover around the "Hateanist" side of life. That's about the closest I come to anything you can or will categorize. Just more of who I am if anything. I know! A dreaded label! - but who gives a fuck. I mean, where would we go if we didn't have labels? I personally like them cause it is the first step in segregation and I wave that flag loud and proud!

Anyhoo, I'm gonna be posting some very important issues on U&D dealing with mostly what this country has got it's, fat fuckin' - cryin' sorry ass panties in a bunch over lately.

Stay tuned

Occupy......the world

Know what you stand for before you know what you don't.

Muffin Master

Yep, It sure has been a while since I've written anything worth while on here. Really nothin' worth while to talk about lately.

I made muffins today. Honey oatmeal muffins to be exact. They came out pretty good. I'd post a picture of them but i'm just so fucking lazy lately. I will soon though.

Well that's it for now.

P.

Awesome song!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSdFFougjr0

Check out the new song Dirty Woman from PAIN. So good!

Not a bad job

If Atlas saw this he'd be pretty jealous.

Lipstick dynamite; snap your neck and hold on tight ( late night psychosis )

Learn from my mistake

I tried being innovative in the world of smoothies and failed miserably. PB and J do not belong in the smoothie world, nor does it need pop tarts added to it. Maybe there is a correct way to do it, but I don't know how, so I'm just gonna put the blender away before this mess gets even bigger. Good thing there were no cold cuts in the house.

Four Wheel Holocaust

Man, I am really in the mood to drive something fast today. I mean, gimme something that sounds like pure annihilation from a mile away. ARMAGEDDON ON WHEELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is not a want, this is a NEED!

I will take any of the following in no particular order:

Ferrari 450 Italia

Aston Martin DBS9

1984 Oldsmobile Hurst 442

Audi R8

1976 Pontiac Trans AM WS6

1982 Pontiac Trans AM WS6 (Knight Rider)

........and the list goes on and on but who has the time. Let's make this happen. Get in touch!

ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK

How fuckin' sweet tit's is this?!?!:

ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK - HEAVY METAL

Yeah, I just discovered this and I'm pretty excited. The game itself, honestly, isn't that great, but is still pretty cool with it's cheesy POWER METAL soundtrack, Slayer- esque background draped in bio mechanical, as well as an evil Unicorn. Awesome!

Not to mention the name of this little blog just so happens to be UNICORNS & DYNAMITE! How cool is that?! Now if only I could somehow get this game to be posted on here to play for the 5 or 6 of you that are kind enough to visit . Hmmmmm?

Heavy Metal Book Report!

It's 1987 and I'm about nine and I'm blastin' the new Guns N' Roses album-Appetite for Destruction-in my shitty little Walkman. I can't remember how I paid for it, but something tells me it was a stealth commando run across town, on my bike, to Coconuts Music with a bunch of stuffed singles in my sock. And I know it wasn't one of my usual cassette lifts from KMART cause they were refusing to carry it due to their allegiance to that twat,Tipper Gore.

So in no

thanks to the above mentioned, my own mother(mind you, a child of the 60's and a musician herself), got in on the action of censoring everything in my life at this time. Hence, the commando sty

le of living I had to endure to protect my young, juvenile treasure of Heavy Metal, illegal fireworks, porn and just about anything else a nine year old should not have in his grasp.

So there I am completely s

ubmersed in this raw, hard-groovin', foul mouthed masterpiece and I just can not get enough. Now at this time as well, I'm still on an adrenaline rush from the recent, Master of Puppets by Metallica, no

t to mention, a slew of other bands that are blowing my mind at this time. It was treasure to me and it was all mine! This though...this was different. This was dangerous and everyone k

new it.

I had never heard such an onslaught of the word "Fuck". Granted, I had heard it a million times from my parents, friends, television, and even my grandparents from time to

time but not like this. The emphasis on the word that Axl W. Rose put on it brought it to a whole new level. It was vile, angry, purely venomous and absolutely non-apologetic. I loved it! Specia

lly songs like "Night train", "So easy" and the ever so cutthroat "Out to get me". The latter of the three I could relate to and in many ways would become my inner anthem for the next several years to come.

Ok, so now on

to this...

"Watch You Bleed: The saga of Guns N' Roses" - by Stephen Davis is a book I picked up not long ago that I ended up reading really, really quick. Now normally I'm not one to do a book report but I figured I would just give a little something on it more so because of how much i am a fan of this music, this era and of course Guns N' Roses.

This Stephen Davis guy I don't think is that great. He supposedly is some great rock-journalist-god that's been around forever, according to little snippets across the board about him, but I really don't think so. The book is well paced and moves in chronological order but on a very mechanical level. In fact, ( as many other's who have read the book before me put it) it is almost word for word from the Behind the Music that was done on Guns N' Roses. More over, this, if anything, would be a complete extension of just that.

The book is pretty much 3rd party accounts that most the time remain anonymous and vague. Though, there is a good amount of depth that is covered in the bands own individualism; one can't help but wonder what is real and what is hype. I purely state this due to the fact that, this particular book seems to be something the record label may have spewed out with great haste, and for whatever reason is unknown.

Again, the author seems to be re-telling a story he had no interest in, in the first place. He does his best to come off sympathetic in telling a story he has (supposedly) vested in but fails miserably when he boasts his use of such words as "ubiquitous", "serendipitous" and the uber favorite, "trepidation". C'mon, asshole! This is a book about probably the worlds - last greatest arena rock band - and he incases their experiences using words that belong in some Woody Allen movie - and that's stretching it.

Now there is a somewhat nicely painted back-drop to the world of Guns N' Roses. The humble beginings of Axl and Izzy to the young friendship of Slash and Steven Adler. The trial and error of making it in a band in Hollywood, to the addition of Duff and from there, their short comings and self destructive behaviour that almost ended Guns N' Roses before it even started.

There are many accounts and quotes from anonymous contributors who give insight into the chaos that ensued with Road Mangers, Girlfriends, Junkies, Crew, Record Executives and others fortunate or unfortunate to be in the shit storm that made Guns N' Roses. A cycle of continuous chaos that seemed to only grow larger as the bands success and subsequently, egos as well.

I don't want to go to much further for fear I may start to deter anyone from reading it as well as, I care not to spoil it. It is a good book to read on the go if this is something of interest but of course take it with a grain of salt. It is, as I said before very well pasted together from numerous other publications and accounts over the years but that's about it. I think even now, you can find the book used for around 7 bucks.

Oh, and one last thing. When my mother discovered my hidden Appetite for Destruction album, she scoffed in disgust at the jackets inner image and of course lyrical content. I thought for sure i would never see it again. Instead, she took me over to the record store and bought me Beethoven's 5th(I think). She told me that for every hour I listen to Guns N' Roses, or Heavy Metal for that matter, I had to listen to an hour of Beethoven. It was a fair trade and a good one at that. Little did she know though that Beethoven would slowly be the precursor into my indulgence a few years later into Blackmetal.

Thanks mom!

...And did you know today is National Pi Day? YAY!

TODAY IS NATIONAL POOP DAY

...that is all.

5 really awesome albums....

....And they are:

1. Steel Panther - Feel The Steel

2. Tony Clifton - Live At The Apollo

3. The Kwitters - Gluten Free Sucks

4. Barf Bats - Battle Axe & Cadillacs

5. Metro Station - Metro Station

That is all.

Unicorns and Dynamite fan of the month: Uri Croatia

Our fan of the month comes from somewhere deep in the Croatian mountains. Uri Croatia, as he likes to be called, is an avid reader of Unicorns and Dynamite and was kind enough to send us these photos. Look at these amazing photos! How could I not make him the first ever Unicorns and Dynamite fan of the month.

A few fun facts about Uri....

Uri works part time at a deli located in the back of a local brothel. His favorite meat is spiced Minx and Raven jerky.

He is in love with Sunglass Hut and hopes to own one someday

He is the number 1 bed model in Croatia

The Russian mafia hates him for his awesome good looks

He wants to come to America because he thinks Skittles is our version of Ecstasy and is legal.

Well, Thank You Uri, for these amazing photos and congrats on being Unicorns and Dynamite first ever fan of the month

Happy New Year ( The end is almost here )

I never really liked New Years much. Not quite sure why other than the fact it just never did anything for me other then bless me with a hangover for a better part of almost twenty years. Granted, I don't mind a good party with my friends, family and so on but as for what a "new year" means, I could care less. Granted I'm a little on the glass half empty side of this rant but c'mon, you're reading it anyways fucker, so at least pretend I might just have a little relevance in knowing that my opinion might be worth sharing.

Maybe it was cause of where I grew up. I remember many a new years day being extremely fucking cold; well past the zero mark down into the negative double digits. And see it's not the blatant cold that was such a bothersome as it was the blinding fucking sun. If it was grey and cloudy I felt more at ease. Though there would be times when the night prior (New Years Eve) it would be a comfy 25 - 30 degrees with a light or heavy snowfall. Then, come morning the skies were clear. Not a cloud in the sky and it dropped 20 - 30 and even sometimes 40 degrees and the sun would just be blasting off the snow like a fucking mirror. Ugh, walking outside sometimes was just pure pain on the eyes as well as the sinuses etc.

Just something about the way the sun hit on such an angle in Chicago during winter; drove me up the fucking wall. Made my skin itch and gave me a touch of nasty irritability.

Now I know there are many people out there who suffer from some kind of seasonal disorder. They wanna jump off a bridge if they don't see the sun for three days or whatever. Maybe it was reverse for me or whatever. Yet, I don't think so. It was deeper than that. Christmas was over so all the holiday hoopla went out just as quick with the holiday trash. Now what? Great, fucking school starts up in a few days. Blahhh!

I guess I just never understood the hype of hope for a new year. It was all the same except I keep getting older. I guess, in a small way, I always thought the holidays were a fraud; in every aspect. I don't need to be reminded to love or share, be kind, do a good deed, help an old lady across the street, work in a soup kitchen, etc. These are things that, if we choose, should be done at any given time of the year at our own accord. Fuck these Best Buy assholes or Jared Jeweler fucks to tell me or anyone that my love or friendship will be forever solidified in their shitty products if I invest in them for this specific date.

I mean, why the fuck isn't the Red Cross out annoying the shit out of us with those bells 365? How come no one gives away turkeys or any kind of meal year round. Granted I know there are charities out there who do try to provide year round. It's the constant hammering fucking guilt all these pricks try to invoke that gets me.

Do it cause it feels right. Nowhere does it state that being giving, caring, loving, charitable or whatever comes with a window stamped time frame. Bullshit.

One thing that does amuse me about the holidays is how the end of days conspiracies flare up. Who is right and who is wrong is for another rant and or debate if you will. I'll take what anyone has to offer. I am open to all opinions on the subject. Be it Aliens, 2012, The second coming of Christ. Bring it. I never get tired of hearing whatever it is anyone wants to dish up.

I will say though that I believe in my lifetime I will see the massive event(s) unfold, be it whatever. Something I've always known even as a small child. I could go into much further detail about my own personal opinions but I also like to keep my....faith if you will, as well as ideas to myself on the matter.

I will say this though. As another year passes and we draw closer to the (supposed) impending 2012, I find interesting the recent(as I've witnessed anyways) hype in the more growing acceptance that we are living descendants of an Alien race. Hmm, maybe. All these questions on how these ancient civilization's built these beautiful cities and pyramids. That, it has to be what many believe, to be blueprints from the gods above or that they even helped, etc.

Yet what if it was just cause that's all they new. An entire race devoted to a particular faith or idea. Thousands upon thousands working together to create something(as they saw it) worthy. These people lived off the land and imagination. More likely than not fueled by religion of some sort I guess. Regardless. They did it. They didn't have the distractions that we do today and it has been many, many years since anyone can really remember a time when we didn't. What if it was just mind over matter. Simply the fact that those were times when, even if not everyone was on board, they still produced. There was an origin to trace back.

Maybe the Aliens did build the pyramids or, maybe it was just some really good, hardworking - crazy ancient folks who just knew what the fuck they were doing. When you've got an army to build from or, on an idea, anything is possible. Hitler did it and so did a few others.

Anyways, New Years is just another year marked by a calendar of sorts. It really has no meaning to me other than a night of glorious drinking, if I choose. What I do for myself or mankind could be measured in a day or a lifetime. It just is what it is and nothing more.